Stream Police: The Worst of the Best Edition
As I submit my final Stream Police for 2015, I can't help but fondly reminisce about the prior year and my time at 0069 Kulture Shocked Tower. Its been a great year, one that has seen many personal accomplishments and growth for the site. If I may take but a brief moment to thank our staff, our editors and my fiancé for their support, their commitment and their vision for our continued success and expansion.
Most of all, I need to thank you; the reader. Friends, our site may not be the biggest or brightest beacon in the polluted delta of the interweb. But somehow, someway thanks to you, you've helped make it our home. This project is a passion for so many of us here at KS. And as we finish construction on our third “K” shaped building, I fondly look towards the future. We're still trying to find our voice in world, and I hope you'll continue to join us on this exciting journey.
This is a Stream Police though and I have a job to do. “So Bad it's Bad,” is unfortunately wrapping up on the main side of the site and we'll be forced to bid a fond farewell to the likes of Bloodsucking Freaks and The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. But shittiness isn't limited to the silver screen, no sir! These are five of the worst episodes of great television you can find with your Hulu Plus.
Drawn Together: S3E15 "Nipple Ring-Ring Goes to Foster Care"
Don't let the title fool you into thinking this is a laugh riot. Unlike the rest of this clever, raunchy animated series, "Nipple Ring-Ring Goes to Foster Care" falls apart almost immediately after the title sequence. A likely symptom of the shows impending cancelation, Gang Bang follows the tale (tail?) of Foxy Love as she is reunited with her estranged father. Love's father returns after running out on her as a baby to get a pack of cigarettes. Containing little of the show's trademark crass or wit, this poorly executed Fat Albert parody is the lowest point of a series that could have ruled the TV world.
Law and Order: Special Victim Unit: S8E4 "Uncle"
Oh dear... Detective John Munch's estranged uncle miraculously appears in Manhattan after living on the streets for sometime. The disheveled transient is clearly crazy, but after a quick shave, a shower, a new suit and a heavy dose of meds, Munch's relative is transformed into a new man. The fat, jolly wisecracking Jew is played by none other than Jerry Lewis in a role he was clearly born to play. Of course, this being SVU, there's a rape case to solve and Lewis inserts himself into the fray to solve the case. Lewis's over the top, carnival barker style of acting runs in a stark contrast to the subdued urgency of the detectives of SVU and makes for an hour of television that, thanks to Lewis (and some admittedly terrible writing) borders on unwatchable.
Bonus fun fact: The character of John Munch has appeared on multiple American television programs including Arrested Development and X-Files. Also, Jerry Lewis used the word “Fag” during his telethon one year.
South Park: Season 19
Like most of my generation, I grew up loving South Park. Much to the dismay of my sixth grade teacher, us boys and even some of the girls would quote the previous night's episode nearly verbatim. Apparently, the days of excitedly turning on the television to watch the exploits of Stan and the bunch are long dead as season 19 of the program clearly illustrated. Containing a season long theme of gentrification, the program follows the towns transformation from quiet hamlet into a hipster paradise. Not even a hilarious caricature of Caitlin Jenner can save this weeks long festering turd. Do yourself a favor and look up the scenes with Jenner on YouTube. You can thank me for the time you've saved later.
American Horror Story S3E01 "Bitchcraft"
Until season four, American Horror Story had been suffering from a decline in quality. Season 3 of the otherwise spectacular horror serial would be the crux of the bad content bell curve, however it was the premier of the season that would set the tone for what was to come. Full disclaimer, I couldn't sit through the third of this series, one that I actually really enjoy, however in hindsight I should have realized after the premier that I could have stopped watching and waited for Freakshow. Allow me to give you a brief synopsis of the plot; The brilliant and talented Jessica Lange is the head witch at a coven. The coven is populated by a mentally handicapped witch, a large black witch and a movie starlet. The newest recruit has a very special power, she kills by literally fucking her victims to death.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia S8 Ep4: "Charlie and Dee Find Love"
Season 8 was by far the weakest of the series, a fact made more impressive by this statement; this is the first bad episode of the series. For a show that shouldn't just win the Best Writing Emmy, but all of the Emmys ever, Sunny has seen a slight dip in quality in recent days, however this is by far the worst of the bunch. The true detractor from the episode is Charlie's very out of character performance, one that does slightly come back full circle, but never really feels genuine. Still, much like ice cream, pizza or sex, even when it's bad its never really that bad.