'Gods of Egypt' Review: #EgyptSoWhite
No doubt a number of you have heard of the colossal mess that is Gods of Egypt. If we disregard the movie itself (which my memory is scrambling to do) it was already pretty bad from the get to go. From a generic 2000’s fantasy adventure debut trailer to the stark white faces of the “Egyptian” heroes, this movie had little going for it in the first place. So, in retrospect, it seems a little naïve of me to have thought that anything good could have come from this movie. I guess it was just the Pacific Rim fan in me who thought it could’ve been Transformers minus the patriotism, Megan Fox, and superfluous explosions.
Instead, what I got in those 127 minutes of Scottish Set (Gerard Butler), over-sized Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), and bad CGI was a movie that was less enjoyable than even the most cynical of critics could have predicted it to be. For the unacquainted (how I envy you) in this colossal wreck, we follow a mortal named Bek who enlists the aid of the dethroned warrior god Horus in an attempts to take back the throne from the malicious Set who rules Egypt with an iron fist. Eventually through hardship and inevitable plot progression Horus comes to terms with his defeat, gets one of his eyes back with the guidance of Ra and eventually returns to fight Set.
Now here’s the thing about the actual fights, and just about anything involving excessive CGI in the movie, you see both Horus and Set turn into metallic gold animal robot things that actually looked pretty badass in the trailer. So I had high hopes for what I could expect in the movie. Sadly, Gods of Egypt took away its one chance at being even semi-relevant in any capacity amongst the pantheon of bad movies with great action when it decided 2004 was the perfect reference point for any VFX decisions. In short, the visuals are almost insultingly bad considering most of the people in the theater were probably there to see some steamy God on God action.
But seriously, with a budget of $140 million, how could you not have enough money to afford decent green screen? Anyways, sadly I expected Gods of Egypt to be my favorite “so bad it's good” movie of this year but instead, it failed at even that. Guess it’s back to re-watching Transformers.