‘The Marine 3: Homefront’ Review: Direct to Bargain Bin
As the sweat and (fake) blood is wiped off the ring floor, we find ourselves at the end of a particularly painful critiquing ordeal – even by Kulture Shocked standards. The salvation that is the final week of April and the end of Wrestelmania month couldn’t come any sooner. But alas, we’ve still a few more ladders to jump off of and some belts to collect. So join me dear reader, as we embark on the odyssey that is my retelling and review of the direct-to-video, low-budget action flick: The Marine 3: Homefront. Oh yeah, this’ll be good.
Starring everyone’s favorite WWE jackass, Mike “The Miz” Mizanin, The Marine 3: Homefront is the third entry into a franchise no one asked for, no one wanted to watch and most certainly no one wanted to review. In case you’ve forgotten, the first film The Marine, actually had a theatrical release and starred our beloved potato-head John Cena. Since then, it seems WWE Studios has taken the financially sensible route and released the sequels as direct-to-DVD with a significantly smaller budget. Personally, I can’t understand why – how many frat boys are out there that are drunk enough to buy the THIRD Marine movie from the Walmart DVD-for-a-dollar section that the studio actually turns a profit?
Now for those budding someday-frat guys, The Marine 3: Homefront follows Sgt. Jack Carter (The Miz) as he returns home from duty to spend time with family. Not too long after returning home, one of his sisters (Ashley Bell) and her boyfriend bear witness to a murder and are held hostage by the murderers and potential terrorists. Carter decides in order to save his sister, he has to act outside the law and use his years of military experience to take out the terrorists.
And once again, this film is simply a mix of formulaic storytelling, an uninspired narrative and is devoid of any cinematic ambition – but being a WWE Studios film, you probably already guessed that. Surprisingly however, for a low-budget action film this movie does a few things impressively above average. For example, the hand to hand combat scenes are tightly paced and well-choreographed, explosions are not overly present and dare I say it, The Miz isn’t half bad in his role. After watching the movie, I see him now as a beefier, less talented Giovanni Ribisi. No really, compare the two, it’s uncanny.
Considering the length, undeveloped characters and lacking substance of this film, I’m surprised at the amount I’ve written so far. There’s not much to say for any clichéd low-budget action film, it’s passably okay and if you’re really bored and it’s airing on some backwards cable channel (if you still live in the stone ages) then yeah, it’s not too bad of a time. However, there’s no reason to ever actively seek out and watch this movie. Unless you’re 19 and incredibly inebriated, then go for it bro.